Alphabet Soup for the RyuTat Soul
by LuV2Writ3
Summary: A collection of oneshots, each with their own aspects on the RyuichixTatsuha relationship.
1. A is for Amnesia

**Pairings: **Ryuichi/Tatsuha, with mentions of other couples.

**Warnings:** Yaoi. If you do not like the idea of two totally hot guys being in love, then this is not for you. May contain some swearing, angst (of course), sappy fluff, and other items I may forget to mention.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gravitation. Gravitation owns me.

**Please Note:** This a collection of one-shots, and none of them have anything to do with the other "chapters" unless stated otherwise. Oh, and one-shots, usually mean long-shots for me.

**Author Notes:** I first saw the idea for A-Z one-shots in a different fandom (Harry Potter, if I remember right), and have seen it be done a few times, so, here is my rendition. I will probably do another one for Yuki/Shuichi sometime. Maybe. But my main focus is, and always will be, Ryuichi and Tatsuha, so who knows when that one will be out. Err..If ever. ;p

_Italics _are for emphasis.

-x-x-x-x-

Alphabet Soup for the RyuTat Soul

-x-x-x-x-

**A** is for _Amnesia_

-x-x-x-x-

It was really hard sometimes. Especially when Ryuichi would stare at him with blank, but always beautiful, ocean blue eyes. Never remembering what had happened for the past few months. Never remembering _them_.

It made Tatsuha want to scream in frustration.

It made Tatsuha want to break down and cry for the first time in _years_.

Sometimes, it made Tatsuha want to just give up on ever having a lasting relationship with Ryuichi Sakuma.

But he never gave up. He couldn't give up on the energetic man he had idolized, had obsessed over, and had, ultimately, fallen in love with.

One time, when the bout of forgetfulness had been excessively bad (Ryuichi had claimed that Tatsuha was trying to rob him, and had started to throw anything and everything at the distraught teenager), Tatsuha had brought Ryuichi to a doctor, hoping against hope that maybe they could find something to explain why Ryuichi would love him and remember him one day, and then the next not even know who Tatsuha Uesugi was.

But the damn doctors had only given Ryuichi a bunch of medication that was absolutely no help and only caused Ryuichi to be insanely tired all the time.

So Tatsuha had dealt with Ryuichi's odd memory and strange behavior on his own. And his life was split into three different kinds of days: Good Days, Normal Days, and Bad Days.

Good Days were for cherishing, Normal Days were for remembering and Bad Days were for grieving.

On Good Days, Ryuichi would welcome him with a warm smile and a soft kiss. Ryuichi would cuddle up with him on the couch, talking in that energetic way that showed Ryuichi's love for life. Good Days were when Ryuichi remembered that he had a strong and loving relationship with Tatsuha. Those were the days where Ryuichi would remember the way the two of them had finally gotten together and how they had made it through the many trials that tried to break them apart. It was the Good Days that Tatsuha was able to kiss Ryuichi and have the sweet man kiss him back.

Those were the days that Tatsuha cherished the most, when Ryuichi remembered him, and, more importantly, remembered their relationship. Those were the days that he longed for, but they were few and far between.

Normal Days weren't particularly painful, but in some ways, they were just as bad. On Normal Days, Ryuichi would greet Tatsuha as a friend, or sometimes as just a fan that he had only met once or twice. Ryuichi was never mean to him, but their conversations would be forced and stilted, with that awkwardness that only came between strangers. And then Ryuichi would ask him to leave, not remembering that Tatsuha had been living with him for the last year and a half.

It was the Normal Days where Tatsuha remembered the pain and longing he had felt before he had become lovers with Ryuichi. Those were the days that he was forced to pretend that Ryuichi meant nothing more to him than an idol to obsess over.

But the Bad Days...Tatsuha was treated worse than a stranger. Most of the time, Ryuichi would think that Tatsuha was a stalker, or a thief, since the teen had a key to Ryuichi's apartment and could easily walk in at any time. On Bad Days, Ryuichi would do anything to get rid of Tatsuha. The singer had even called the police on him. Bad Days were where Ryuichi would go out and find someone else; some flirty, scantily dressed girl to warm his bed. Ryuichi would only remember the fact that he was a rock star and could have anyone he wanted. He would have no thoughts about a certain dark-haired and equally dark-eyed teenager.

Unfortunately, tonight had been one of those nights.

Tatsuha knew that he couldn't get mad over those one-night stands. He knew, he hoped, that none of them meant anything to his Ryuichi. He pushed away the hurt every time, and trudged on through the hardships that had made a relationship with Ryuichi Sakuma seem almost impossible.

But, no matter how much it hurt, even though it felt like a hundred knives piercing his heart, Tatsuha knew he would still do anything, _anything_ for Ryuichi. Even if it meant getting hurt every few days.

Sighing heavily, Tatsuha knocked on the familiar door, not having the energy to work his way through the too-easy-to-undo lock.

Unsurprised golden eyes met his. Not saying anything, Yuki moved over to allow his younger brother inside.

"Thanks." Tatsuha muttered as he moved into the living room, sitting down heavily on to the couch. The TV was on, but Tatsuha paid it no mind. His thoughts were solely focused on the usual feelings of doubt, fear, rejection, anger, and sorrow that always accompanied Bad Days.

Yuki, silently as ever, made his way into the living room as well, turned off the annoying television before taking a seat on the far end of the couch. The blonde haired author picked up a nearby book, and started to read it. This, too, was a ritual following a Bad Day.

Silence reigned over the room, making Tatsuha feel uncomfortable. He wasn't used to so much quiet, and his brother knew it. Tatsuha was used to having Nittle Grasper blaring out of stereo speakers, or, when he was with Ryuichi, his lover's constant chatter. But Tatsuha had, sadly, played this game many times before and didn't want Yuki to get his way this time. He wasn't going to be the one to start talking first.

The next few minutes passed by very slowly. The silence only broken by an occasional sound of paper rustling as Yuki turned the page in his book. The bastard.

Tatsuha glanced at the clock, knowing it could only be early in the evening. He had come home to find Ryuichi with a dark-haired, dark-eyed woman, before the man had demanded that Tatsuha leave. The dejected teen had quickly muttered 'Sorry, wrong room', before retreating to his brother's apartment.

Tatsuha wasn't sure if he should feel extremely hurt, or slightly happy that all the women Ryuichi got together with looked a lot like him. All with black hair and midnight eyes to match.

Not really wanting to think about Ryuichi with some else, no matter how much that person looked like him, Tatsuha pushed those thoughts away.

Yuki didn't look disturbed by the intense quiet. In fact, his older brother seemed to be enjoying it. Tatsuha was positive that his Aniki knew that this silence was driving the younger brother insane.

It was ironic that almost a whole year and a half with a mentally unstable boyfriend hadn't been able to do what a couple of minutes of aggravating silence in the company of his stoic brother was doing to him.

Tatsuha sighed defeatedly. "Alright, you win." Tatsuha didn't miss the way that Yuki's eyes flickered up to his before quickly going back to reading the book, feigning interest. Tatsuha wasn't fooled.

"It's just not fair." Tatsuha stated in frustration.

The blonde's eyebrow raised. "Life's not fair."

"I _know._ But this is just so...so..." Tatsuha struggled to find the words. He gave up with a heavy sigh. "I don't know. It's just not right. What did I do to deserve this?"

His brother gave up the pretense of reading the book, golden eyes locked on his brother. "Life's not fair, remember?"

Tatsuha rolled his eyes. "Yes, I heard you the first time." Tatsuha paused, not sure what else to say. It wasn't often that he had these serious talks with Yuki. With as many times as Tatsuha came over here, this was the first real 'talk'. Usually Tatsuha would just make light conversation about trivial things, hoping to get his mind off of Ryuichi Sakuma. But this conversation was turning out to be a little more serious than the previous ones.

"I just don't know what to do." The teen tried to explain, his words slow and awkward. He wasn't used to admitting his emotions to any besides Ryuichi, and even then it was hard. "I love being with him. Plain and simple. He's a million times better, in all aspects of the word, than all of those women I had been with before being with Ryuichi." Tatsuha paused. "I knew what I was getting myself into when we started dating. Even back then he had odd mood swings, but those were nothing compared to the recent ones."

Yuki said nothing, just sat on the couch, watching the younger male vent out his thoughts and anger and hurt.

"I know I can't blame him for everything that has happened. He never remembers any of it. It's like I have to start over with him every time I see him, and each time, I never know exactly what I'm going to be dealing with. Some days it's all smiles, hugs and kisses, then other days it's awkward introductions and uncomfortable conversations. Then the next time I open the door, he could throw something heavy and extremely painful at me."

Tatsuha watched as his brother, still as silent as ever, settled back into the couch, casually lighting a cigarette. It was infuriating that Yuki could be so relaxed while the younger of the two was a mixture of a million conflicting emotions.

Focusing on his anger, Tatsuha continued, voice increasing in volume. "It's just not fair. Why can't it be easy and everyone lives happily ever after?"

"Life's not fair." Yuki repeated, blowing out a lung full of smoke.

Tatsuha wanted to punch him. "I _know_." He told the older male angrily. He stood up, pacing. "Every day is a battle with him. And he doesn't even know what I go through. It hurts everyday when I have to reintroduce myself to him, or pretend that I don't want to be anything other than friends or have to watch as he walks into his apartment with his arms around some _woman_."

The teen paused in his pacing. "I always fear that maybe this is it. That he won't ever go back to the sweet, cheerful Ryu-chan, or go back to thinking that he's only my idol. Maybe this will be the last time he ever changes, and he will always stay worse than a stranger to me. That he will always...," Tatsuha's voice became quieter, anger spent and long gone, "..hate me."

"What if Ryuichi needs my help to fight this and here I am thinking that I should just give up? Maybe all he needs is just a little more patience and everything will be fine." Tatsuha paused, slumping down on the couch, his head hurting from the overwhelming emotions. "Sometimes I wish that I had never fallen in love with Ryuichi Sakuma, because at least then I would be able to get on with my life, instead of trying to fix a broken man who will probably never be whole again."

Tatsuha smiled slightly, sadly. "But I guess that's why I haven't left him, right, Aniki?" Knowing his brother wouldn't reply, the teen continued. "Because I love him and I would do anything for him. Even if it means only a few days of happiness once in a while, and a whole lot of hurt the rest of the time."

Unfortunately, that still didn't sound like a very logical plan. If Tatsuha was being logical about it, he would only focus on the hurt, and know that leaving Ryuichi would be for the best action for him.

But Tatsuha _loved_ Ryuichi. And that was all there was to it. Even if there were a million Bad Days, he still loved Ryuichi.

Tatsuha sighed heavily, a hand running through his dark hair. "Life's not fair."

"Now you're getting it."

Tatsuha wanted to punch him.

-x-x-x-x-

The next day, with new resolve to _make this work_, Tatsuha used his key to open the door, peeking his head inside before entering fully.

"Ryuichi?" He called out cautiously. "Are you here?"

A blur of brown, blue and pink was all the warning the teen had before his arms were full of Ryuichi.

Not that he minded.

"Tatsuha!" The singer looked up at the taller male, ocean blue eyes almost sparkling. Tatsuha leaned down to kiss those sweet lips, drowning himself in the familiarity of _Ryuichi_, cherishing that this was a Good Day. Tatsuha grinned, maybe if he was lucky it would turn into a Very Good Day.

Ryuichi laughed, and poked Tatsuha's nose. "Uh oh, someone's thinking dirty thoughts again."

"How can you be dirty in a bathtub?"

Ryuichi's grin was almost predatory. Tatsuha knew his singer loved to take baths together. "I'll go start the water while you go put Kumagoro in the living room. There's some things that a bunny shouldn't see." Tatsuha laughed as he watched Ryuichi headed for the bathroom.

While he was teasing and flirting with Ryuichi, it was almost easy to forget that he had had to spend last night on his brother's awful couch plagued with nightmares that Ryuichi would leave him forever.

Although it was hard to push that sense of betrayal and hurt away, Tatsuha would never blame Ryuichi for something the singer couldn't control. He loved the man too damn much and wasn't going to give up now.

His brother (the smug bastard) had said it best: Life's not fair.

But Tatsuha was learning to deal with it as best he could.

-x-x-x-x-

Complete

-x-x-x-x-

_A/n:_ I really like this one, even though there wasn't that much Ryuchi/Tatsuha interaction. It was an odd take on Ryuichi's character. I know the man is not that extreme, but I have wanted to try to write something like this for a while now, and I feel it came out better than I thought it would. Poor Tatsuha, I really love to torture him, don't I? Ah, but I love the little fanboy. And just think, there are still a lot more letters to go. At least each "chapter" is complete when posted, instead of waiting for me to get off my lazy butt and update. ;p

**Next Chapter: B **is for _Beer._

-x- LuV -x-


	2. B is for Beer

**Warnings from first chapter still apply.**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gravitation. I don't even know Japanese. But I do know that I love Tatsuha! And Ryuichi!

**Please Note: **These are all one-shots. Each new addition has no connection to the other ones unless stated other wise.

_Italics_ are emphasis.

-x-x-x-x-

Alphabet Soup for the RyuTat Soul

-x-x-x-x-

**B** is for _Beer_

-x-x-x-x-

Ryuichi had never liked the taste of alcohol. Some of the drinks had a sickly sweet taste that made him gag, while others burned all the way down his throat and left him sputtering and coughing. Sometimes the beverage would have a deceptively nice taste at first, but all that would be left was a foul aftertaste that was present in all alcoholic drinks.

In Ryuichi's opinion, alcohol was just plain gross.

But none of those facts seemed to be bothering the male sitting on the other side of the table next to Shuichi. Dark, messily splayed hair became even messier every time the male tipped his head back to take another deep gulp from his drink. Ryuichi absolutely loved the way those obsidian eyes, with just a hint of silver, became even darker with every drink the male took.

And he was definitely downing a lot of alcohol. The empty bottles were evidence enough.

Ryuichi tried to recall what Shuichi had said the male's name was. The famous singer was sure Shuichi had said that the male was Tohma's brother-in-law because Ryuichi remembered wondering why he had never seen this beautiful person before. So that must mean that his last name was Uesugi, but Ryuichi couldn't think of the first name. Tetsuya, maybe? That didn't sound exactly right though.

Well, damn. Ryuichi sometimes hated his short attention span. He should have listened better when Shuichi had introduced them to each other, instead of admiring how the dark-haired male's cheeks had acquired a slight blush when Ryuichi had insisted on shaking hands.

The best part was that Ryuichi constantly caught 'Tetsuya's' beautiful eyes flickering up to look at him.

He smirked.

Leaning across the table, Ryuichi placed Kumagoro in the beautiful male's view. 'Tetsuya' looked at the pink bunny in surprise.

"Kumagoro really would like to dance with you, but he doesn't know how." Ryuichi smiled charmingly. "He was wondering if you would like to dance with me instead?" A blush came across the dark-eyed male's cheeks.

Adorable was the word that came to Ryuichi's mind. Maybe coming to this club hadn't been such a bad idea after all.

At the other male's embarrassed, yet pleased nod, Ryuichi smiled broadly, setting Kumagoro into Shuichi's hands. The raspberry-haired male had been sulking all night when Yuki had refused to come to the club. "Here Shu-chan. Kumagoro will keep you company."

Shuichi looked up in surprise. "Er..Where are you going, Ryuichi?"

"I'm going to dance with Tetsuya, na no da!" The older male exclaimed excitedly before moving towards the dance floor. Shuichi's confused protest was lost with the loud, blaring music.

Ryuichi held out his hand to his newly acquired dance partner. "Shall we?" He asked, tilting his head to the side. The dark-haired male grinned, despite his blush, and held onto Ryuichi's offered hand. Ryuichi dragged 'Tetsuya' onto the dance floor.

If there was one thing that Ryuichi Sakuma loved as much as singing, it was dancing. It was almost like singing with your body. Losing yourself in the sounds of the loud music, moving with every beat, the tempo controlling your very soul; Ryuichi was in love with the way he could just let go of all his inhibitions and not have anyone think anything of it.

After going through every moment worrying about his image and how other people thought of him, trying to make sure that everything he did was perfect, Ryuichi took every chance he had to have a moment where he didn't have to care.

And if he got to dance with a beautiful male...Well that was a definite bonus.

Although Ryuichi was slightly surprised at how well their bodies moved together. It was as if 'Tetsuya' knew his every move and instinctively knew how to perfectly counter each step. It wasn't often that Ryuichi found someone who could dance with him this well. Usually everyone got tired and lost after the first ten minutes.

He smiled brightly at his dark-haired companion. "You're really good at dancing Tetsuya!"

The younger male instantly stopped dancing, looking at Ryuichi with a slightly hurt expression.

Ryuichi was confused. Had he said something wrong?

The dark-haired male stepped away from Ryuichi. "Uh...Sakuma-san...my name's Tatsuha." His voice sounded disappointed.

Ryuichi blinked in surprise, embarrassed, and feeling extremely regretful for getting the other male's name wrong.

Tatsuha gave an uneasy laugh. "But, hey, you can call me whatever you want, Sakuma-san."

Ryuichi latched onto the younger male's arm. "I'm so sorry." He looked up at the taller male with pleading blue eyes. "Please forgive me?"

Tatsuha smiled. "As if I could actually say no to that face." He paused, his smile broadening. "Under one condition, Sakuma-san."

Ryuichi nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! Anything, Tatsuha-kun." The younger male gently pried Ryuichi's strong grip away from his arm, and held the singer's hands in his own.

"Dance with me some more?" There was a searching and almost seductive look in Tatsuha's dark eyes.

Ryuichi couldn't fight the blush that come onto his cheeks. "S-sure."

When Ryuichi had asked Tatsuha to dance, he had had every intention to try and seduce the dark-haired male. Instead, it seemed as though Tatsuha had his own tricks. It wasn't often that Ryuichi accepted advances from other people; he would rather approach people on his own terms. It was a lot easier, that way he could gradually introduce different aspects of his personality, and be able to judge the others reactions before getting too attached.

But Tatsuha was just too gorgeous, cute, sexy and adorable all at the same time, that Ryuichi just couldn't say no.

Besides, it was good to take risks once in a while, wasn't it?

-x-x-x-x-

Ryuichi hadn't been aware of the rapid passing of time until the DJ had turned off the music and announced that the club was going to be closing in ten minutes. Ryuichi sort of remembered Shuichi saying good-bye to him a couple of hours ago, but he wasn't quite sure how long ago that really was. The thrum of music was still coursing through his body, and the thrill of dancing was still etched in his mind. Plus the fun he had been having with Tatsuha was pretty much the only thing that he had focused on all night.

Tatsuha was adorably sexy, which was a combination that Ryuichi wouldn't have believed could exist until he had met the younger male. It was a combination Ryuichi wouldn't mind seeing a lot more of.

"I had lots of fun, na no da! Didn't you, Tatsuha-kun?" He asked, dragging Tatsuha outside with him. Usually this annoyed the person being pulled along, but Tatsuha just laughed.

"You know, Sakuma-san, you don't have to say my name a million times just to prove that you know my name." The younger male told him with a smile. "And, yes, I did have fun."

Ryuichi pouted. "Tatsuha-kun, I said to call me Ryuichi, or Ryu-chan. No more Sakuma-san."

Tatsuha leaned closer to him, smirking. "Well, what if I wanted to call you Ichi-chan, instead?"

Ryuichi brightened. "That's better than Sakuma-san."

"Nah, Ichi-chan sounds a little odd. I think I'll stick with Ryuichi, ne?" The older male nodded, glad that Tatsuha had agreed to stop calling him Sakuma-san. It was a little odd to have someone you wanted as more than a friend to call you something so formal. It seemed strange that even though he had only known Tatsuha for one night, he was already so interested and hooked on the dark-haired male. Usually that type of trust and attraction took Ryuichi a long time to build up.

Ryuichi took in their dark surroundings. "Tatsuha-kun, it's getting late..."

The other male nodded, though he seemed a little disappointed. Ryuichi was secretly glad. He didn't want to be the only one unhappy that their night was almost over.

"Do you have a ride to your apartment, Ryu-chan?" Tatsuha asked concerned (Ryuichi smiled brightly at the name), dark eyes looking around the parking lot. "I came on my motorcycle, so I don't need to bother my brother, but it doesn't look like anyone else is here."

Ryuichi blinked. "I didn't think of that. Usually Tohma sends me a driver, but I hadn't expected to be out this late..." Ryuichi paused, pouting at Kumagoro. "Wah! What if we have to stay here all by ourselves all night? What if a big scary monster comes out of a dark alley and eats us!"

Ryuichi was cut off by Tatsuha's laughter. He turned his pout at the other male. "Naaa...Don't laugh at me. Monsters like Kumagoro-snacks."

"You can just hop on the back of my motorcycle, Ryuichi." He walked over to the sleek, black and silver machine, and picked up a helmet, holding it out. "Unless you like getting eaten by big, scary monsters."

Ryuichi approached the motorcycle cautiously. "It looks scary, too." He informed him. "Besides, you shouldn't drink and drive, Tatsuha-kun. It's not safe."

Tatsuha chuckled. "I've had a lot more to drink before and I've been fine. No worries, Ryuichi." He gave him a smile. "If you get scared, you can just hold on tightly to me. I won't mind at all."

"Okay, Tatsuha-chan." He took the offered helmet. "But if we crash, I'm blaming you!"

Tatsuha laughed in response.

-x-x-x-x-

Riding on Tatsuha's motorcycle was both extremely frightening and absolutely exhilarating at the same time. Ryuichi clutched onto Tatsuha the entire time, and held on even tighter when the younger male had revved the motorcycle to go even faster. Ryuichi suspected that Tatsuha was doing it on purpose just to get that exact response.

But before Ryuichi could decide if he actually liked riding on the motorcycle or not, Tatsuha pulled into the driveway to Ryuichi's apartment. The singer wasn't too happy about this fact. He liked spending time with Tatsuha. Perhaps even a little too much.

"Uh, Ryuichi?" At this, oceanic blue eyes opened. Ryuichi hadn't even been aware that he had closed them. "I'm not complaining or anything, but if we're going to get off the motorcycle anytime soon, you're going to have to let go of me. Not that I mind or anything."

Ryuichi could hear the amusement in Tatsuha's voice. He blushed, which only caused Tatsuha to laugh.

The younger male brushed some of the errant locks of hair away from Ryuichi's face. "Aww, how cute." He commented.

Ryuichi pouted, ignoring his increasing blush, and poked Tatsuha on the nose. "I think Tatsuha lied to me, na no da. He did have too much to drink. He's saying weird things."

Tatsuha smirked. "You think so, huh? Well, since I'm drunk and everything, I won't feel guilty for doing this." And he leaned down the rest of the way to kiss a surprised Ryuichi.

It wasn't long before Tatsuha was pulling away, and, despite his words, he still looked a little guilty. He looked a lot more triumphant, however.

"Naaa...Tatsuha, no fair! You surprised me!"

Tatsuha smiled sheepishly. "Well, that _was_ kind of the idea."

"I want one too." Ryuichi reached up to the taller, yet younger male, and kissed him. Unlike with Ryuichi's surprised reaction, it didn't take Tatsuha long to respond to the kiss.

Ryuichi pulled away, looking up at the male. "I like Tatsuha." He stated simply. "I hope that me and Kumagoro can see more of him?"

Tatsuha nodded firmly. "I like you too, Ryuichi. Of course you can see more of me. I've finally got you. I'm not planning on going anywhere."

As Ryuichi was waving good-bye to Tatsuha, a new phone number clutched safely in his hand, this wasn't how Ryuichi had pictured his night going.

But he liked this ending a whole lot better.

-x-x-x-x-

Complete

-x-x-x-x-

_A/n:_ That's okay, Ryuichi, that isn't how I had pictured your night going either. I was trying to go for the seductive, older-acting Ryuichi, but that kind of quickly changed. But, I liked it, nonetheless.

Hope you all liked this one as well! Just don't expect the other updates to be quite as fast. ;p

Suggestions for later letters will be very appreciated!

**Next Chapter: C** is for _Colds._

-x-LuV-x-


	3. C is for Colds

**Warnings from first chapter still apply.**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gravitation. I don't even know Japanese. But I do know that I love Tatsuha! And Ryuichi!

**Please Note: **These are all one-shots. Each new addition has no connection to the other ones unless stated other wise.

_Italics_ are emphasis.

-x-x-x-x-

Alphabet Soup for the RyuTat Soul

-x-x-x-x-

**C** is for _Colds_

-x-x-x-x-

Maybe this will be easier than I thought...

Ryuichi glanced at the sleeping, blanket-covered lump on the couch for the second time. He tilted his head to the side curiously. Had it just moved? Ryuichi looked down at Kumagoro to see if his best friend had seen anything, but the cotton-candy bunny only shook his head.

Bouncing up and down in boredom, Ryuichi sighed softly. What was a baby-sitter supposed to do again? Tohma had told him that it would be fun, but so far it had just been a quiet and zero-fun kind of job.

Ryuichi froze in his bouncing when the lump-on-the-couch moved again before settling in a different position. Ryuichi frowned. He knew the lump-on-the-couch was supposed to be sick with some kind of cold, but why did he and Kumagoro have to sit here and watch it? It wasn't doing anything interesting or potentially illegal. So what was the point of this baby-sitting thing?

If only Tohma had been able to find someone else to watch Mika's youngest brother. Ryuichi would much rather be singing or working on a new song or coloring with Kumagoro...anything but this boring job...As a 21-year-old rising star, Ryuichi felt that he shouldn't have to spend his time watching over uninteresting lumps.

"Kuma, I'm bored..." Ryuichi whispered, pouting. He hated being bored. He couldn't even turn on the television or put on any music; he didn't want to risk waking up the lump-on-the-couch.

Kumagoro nodded his little bunny head in agreement, long ears swaying slightly. Ryuichi gave his best friend a small smile; at least he wasn't alone in his boredom.

He almost wished he was cruel enough to make a lot of noise, just so that the lump would wake up and Ryuichi would have something to do and someone to talk to, but the singer knew he would never do anything like that. If the lump-on-the-couch was sick then he needed rest, no matter how boring it was for Ryuichi.

Ryuichi had started to play with Kumagoro's ears when he had a distinct feeling that someone was watching him. Blinking curiously down at the pink bunny, Ryuichi concluded that it wasn't Kumagoro who was watching him, so...who was it?

Ryuichi looked up from studying Kumagoro, and his vivid blue eyes started to take in his surroundings before he stopped short.

Staring up at him in confusion were a pair of pretty, almost glittering, innocent obsidian eyes.

The lump had awoken.

The little boy was watching the older man curiously, and Ryuichi found himself staring back. He offered a smile. "Well, hello!" He greeted cheerfully. "I'm Ryuichi! It's nice to meet you!"

The dark-haired boy blinked, before the obsidian eyes were drawn towards the pinkness of Kumagoro.

Ryuichi gave a laugh. "Oh, and this is my best friend, Kumagoro." Kumagoro gave a small wave, causing the boy to smile. Ryuichi watched the other, intrigued by the young boy and his pretty eyes. Was it possible for young children to have such pretty eyes?

The obsidian-eyed boy glanced up at Ryuichi. "I'm Tatsuha...Why are you here?" He asked slowly, his voice confused. He looked even smaller being wrapped up in all of those blankets, rubbing at his eyes absent-mindedly. Ryuichi couldn't help but to smile at the sight.

"I'm here to take care of you, of course!" He exclaimed, Kumagoro nodding in agreement. Tatsuha blinked in surprise, before the boy started laughing.

Ryuichi stared at the young boy in confusion, not understanding what was wrong. He looked down at Kumagoro, but the pink bunny was just as puzzled. Ryuichi raised a hand, feeling his hair, wondering if maybe it was extremely messed up, but it wasn't any more messy than usual...He checked his face to see if maybe cheerios had gotten stuck on him again, but there was nothing but smooth skin. Maybe the boy's sickness had rendered him insane?

"They really believed me?" Tatsuha finally managed to say, a pleased grin on the young face. "Wow, I guess I acted better than I thought." The boy started laughing again.

Taken by surprise, Ryuichi frowned. "You mean...you're not really sick?" He asked, wondering how someone so young could be so devious. Ryuichi could never remember ever wanting to trick his parents like that when he was younger...

Tatsuha shook his head. "No. I just didn't want to go to that boring temple thing that they're going to." The dark-haired boy gave a soft laugh, close to a giggle.

Ryuichi sighed. He was here, wasting his time watching over a 'sick' child, all just because said child didn't want to do something the rest of his family was doing. Great, that was wonderful. How could someone so young cause so many problems?

Pausing in his laughter, Tatsuha looked over at Ryuichi, as if suddenly struck with a thought. "You're...not going to tell them are you?" He asked, his voice uncertain. The young boy gave Ryuichi a pleading look. The blue-eyed singer thought about actually telling the boy's family about his 'sickness', but one look at the sad obsidian eyes and almost begging expression, and Ryuichi's resolve crumbled instantly.

Shaking his head, Ryuichi gave a soft sigh, wondering how he got into this type of situation. "No...Your secret is safe with me." He told Tatsuha, smiling lightly. The boy's face lit up and he practically jumped out of his blankets just to give Ryuichi a thankful hug. Tatsuha's enthusiasm made Ryuichi grin and he could understand why an energetic boy like Tatsuha wouldn't want to be stuck with his family during some temple ritual. He knew that if he were Tatsuha's age, he wouldn't want to be forced to sit still for hours either.

Tatsuha pulled away from the older, and gave another smile, before his small hand took a hold of Ryuichi's and he tried to pull the other with him. "Come on! Let's play!"

Ryuichi hesitated for a minute. For some reason he had a sense of foreboding wash over him. As if the fates were trying to tell him that he had no idea what he was getting himself into. He decided not to worry about it and got up, letting the smaller pull him out of the room. He was certain that the new room they entered had to be Tatsuha's, considering the way there was tons of clothing scattered all over the floor, the bed was unmade, books lay piled up next to the bookshelf instead of actually being in their place. Ryuichi could only smile at the mess; it reminded him of his own room.

Tatsuha didn't give him much time to look around before the young boy was pulling more books off the shelf. He would look at the covers briefly, before throwing them on the floor as he went for a new one. Ryuichi wasn't sure what Tatsuha was looking for, and he wasn't going to ask. He had a feeling that if he said anything, one of those books might be thrown at him.

Finally, the boy must have found what he was looking for since he turned and gave Ryuichi a smile, before kicking all the unwanted books to the side. He sat down on the floor, patting the space beside him. Ryuichi laughed slightly, finding it somewhat amusing that the dark-haired boy was inviting him to color with him.

He hadn't colored in years. So why was the prospect of doing something so...childish suddenly so appealing?

Taking the offered seat, Ryuichi looked over at the page that Tatsuha was putting all of his concentration on. It was just a blank paper, and Tatsuha's messy marks quickly filled the page. Ryuichi wasn't sure what the boy was trying to make, but he decided not to worry about it as he took up his own paper.

A few minutes passed away in silence that was only broken by the sound of rustling paper and that of crayons moving along the pages. Tatsuha paused in his work, and glanced over to see what his new friend was doing.

"What are you drawing?" He asked, obsidian eyes full of curiosity. Ryuichi grinned, and held up his unfinished picture of Kumagoro.

Tatsuha frowned. "It's not very colorful." The boy stated, his voice almost sad. Ryuichi blinked, and glanced at his picture. He didn't think that it looked all that bad. Tatsuha gave him a smile before taking a hold of the picture and started scribbling all over it.

Not sure what to say, Ryuichi just watched as the younger continued to pick up what seemed like random crayons and filled every blank space on the page with bright colors. As Tatsuha finished, he handed the picture over to Ryuichi, a warm smile on the boy's lips. Glancing down at the picture, the singer found a smile of his own coming upon his features. Kumagoro was now a neon green bunny, with banana yellow arms and an orange bow.

"Do you like it?" At Ryuichi's nod, Tatsuha's smile became even bigger. "You've got to make everything around you shiny! It makes everyone happier."

Ryuichi stared over at the young boy, amazed by the wise words. How was it that a child could be so observant, and so sacrificing to want to make everyone around him happier? Smiling, Ryuichi shook his head in amusement. Tatsuha may have been young, but he was already more interesting than anyone the singer had ever met before.

"I'm going to marry you when I grow up." Tatsuha stated simply, a smile on his lips.

Ryuichi's eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't have any time to say anything in response as Tatsuha started talking once again.

"My sister says that it's not right for two boys to be together...but I think that's because she saw Aniki kissing the boy from across the street and she was jealous cause she likes him. But she also said that you should only ever marry someone you really like! And I really really like you! So, when I grow up, can I marry you?"

The boy had said this all quickly in one breath and Ryuichi had problems trying to decipher what had been said. It was obvious that the boy was just trying to show his affection towards someone who he was having fun with. But it still made Ryuichi smile, even if he knew that Tatsuha was too young to really understand what he was saying.

"Sure," He agreed, nodding his head. "You can marry me if you don't find a nice girl that you like a lot better."

Tatsuha grimaced. "Ew, girls are gross."

Ryuichi laughed.

Suddenly, Tatsuha stood up, clutching at Ryuichi's hand. "Let's get something to eat!" The boy's obsidian eyes were almost sparkling, and Ryuichi allowed himself to be pulled along. At that moment, he didn't think there was anything he could have denied the younger boy.

It was a scary thought.

-x-x-x-

Time had passed by too quickly, and Ryuichi was surprised at how disappointed he was when Tatsuha's family came home. The two of them had been coloring again, when they heard the front door open. Tatsuha didn't seem too pleased that his family was home either. The boy's animated talking came to an abrupt stop and his bright smile faded away.

Ryuichi gave the boy a smile of his own. "Don't be sad." He told the younger, giving him a quick hug. "Remember? You've got to be shiny." Tatsuha's expression lightened at that statement, and he got up to go greet his returning family.

Tohma came into the room soon after. He glanced around passively, taking in the sight of the crayons and scattered papers littering the floor. "Thank you for watching over Tatsuha for us, Ryuichi. I'm sure you would have rather been doing something better with your time."

Shaking his head, Ryuichi stood up. "No, I had a lot of fun with Tatsuha." He paused. "He's a really cute kid." He gave his best friend a small hug, promising to call later, before walking towards the exit. He could hear the sound of Tatsuha talking to his sister about what the two of them had done throughout the day. Apparently, no one seemed to remember that Tatsuha was supposed to be sick.

As he was putting on his shoes, he felt small arms wrapping around him in a tight hug. He returned the embrace, smiling.

Tatsuha pulled away slightly and handed him a sheet of paper. "Ryu-chan! You forgot your picture of Kuma!" The boy smiled. "He would feel lonely with out you!"

Laughing, Ryuichi took the picture. "Thank you, Tatsuha. I'll take good care of it. I've got to go now, before your sister kicks me out."

"Okay." Tatsuha's voice sounded distinctly less happy. "Bye, Ryu-chan. Will you come back sometime soon?" Obsidian eyes looked up at him, hopeful.

"Of course." Ryuichi promised, the tone of his voice reassuring. "I'll come back as soon as I can." Tatsuha's expression seemed to light up even more, and he gave the older another quick hug before going back to where he had left his sister.

As Ryuichi went to shut the door, he couldn't help but to overhear Tatsuha's excited chatter. "I'm going to marry him when I grow up!"

Mika's voice sounded annoyed. "Stop being silly, Tatsuha."

"No! It's true. Just wait and see! It will happen!"

Ryuichi closed the door, an amused smile gracing his lips.

-x-x-x-

Tatsuha grinned over at him, looking at the paper in his hands. "And you thought I was merely just a kid with a childhood crush." The twenty-one year old leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Ryuichi's lips. "I guess I showed you just how serious I was."

Ryuichi laughed. "How was I supposed to know that a young boy would stay true to what he said over fifteen years ago?" He laughed again, before holding the warm body closer to his. He liked feeling close to Tatsuha, and hated whenever they were separated from each other.

"Well, you've learned your lesson now." Tatsuha continued, his voice smug. "Tomorrow's the big day."

Ryuichi nodded, his hold on Tatsuha tightening slightly. "I know. Are you scared? Having any second thoughts?"

Tatsuha's laugh filled the silent room. "Of course I'm not scared. And I'm definitely not having any second thoughts." Tatsuha shook his head, the amused smile still on his lips. "I've been waiting for this day for fifteen years. I'm not going to give up now." The dark-haired male leaned in for another kiss.

The old, slightly worn colored picture of Kumagoro lay forgotten.

-x-x-x-

Complete

-x-x-x-

A/N: Thank you for reading. I am trying to get caught up with some things, but they all take a considerable amount of time. I am trying my best though, for anyone who is still reading.

**Next chapter: D **is for _Declare_

Thanks again!

LuV


	4. D is for Declare

Warnings from the first chapter still apply.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravitation.

**Please note**: These chapters are all one-shots unless stated otherwise.

-x-x-x-x-

Alphabet Soup for the RyuTat Soul

-x-x-x-x-

**D** is for _Declare_

-x-x-x-x-

Silence echoed off of the walls, increasing in size until it was so overwhelming that Tatsuha wondered if he would ever hear sounds again.

He shifted uncomfortably, but he never looked away from Ryuichi. Those cobalt eyes were focused on the window beside them, but still Ryuichi said nothing.

Tatsuha felt uncertain and he didn't like it. A part of him wanted to grab Ryuichi, to shake the man until the words that Tatsuha so desperately wanted to hear would finally spill from those lips.

Why wasn't Ryuichi saying anything?

The night had started out so well. A nice dinner alone, together, in Ryuichi's apartment. They watched a movie after that—Tatsuha had turned off the lights just so Ryuichi would cuddle up to him even more. The movie ended. They sat in silence, until Ryuichi began to talk and talk. Pointless rambles that usually made no sense, but Tatsuha listened intently. He always listened to Ryuichi.

But then, in a quiet pause, Tatsuha spoke the words that had been eating him up inside for the longest time. He had been so sure that Ryuichi would be pleased to hear them. The two of them had been dating for a while now, and he thought that the feeling was mutual.

"I love you."

Instead of smiles and kisses, the only thing that answered Tatsuha was a silence that seemed louder with each passing second.

Ryuichi said nothing. He played with Kumagoro's ear, staring out the window as if it held all of the secrets of the world. But he didn't say anything.

Confused, hurt, Tatsuha swallowed back the sense that he had just made a grave error. Had he said it too quickly? Was Ryuichi going to end their relationship right then?

"Ryuichi?" Tatsuha kept his voice light. He was afraid that he would break something fragile if he spoke too harshly. He wanted to reach out, to bring Ryuichi into his arms and forget he had ever dared to spill out his heart like a girl.

He didn't regret saying it—it was, after all, the truth. He loved Ryuichi. Hell, he was pretty sure he had always loved Ryuichi. First as a fan who obsessively waits for any news of their favored idol, sneaking into concerts and trying to break into said idol's home, and then it had progressed into something warmer and calmer.

Ryuichi turned those cobalt blue eyes towards him. It was impossible to read what was going on inside those depths. That made Tatsuha more nervous than anything. But he waited, hoped.

"Thank you," Ryuichi said. He smiled and placed Kumagoro into Tatsuha's lap as he got up from the couch.

Tatsuha didn't watch him go into the next room. He didn't move. He stared at the worn ears of Kumagoro—it was as if Ryuichi had given him the only part of himself he was willing to give.

It wasn't enough. Not nearly enough. Tatsuha got up from the couch, leaving Kumagoro behind.

That polite statement had hurt far worse than the empty silence.

Walking out of the apartment, Tatsuha slammed the door shut behind him.

-x-x-x-x-

The wind rushing through his hair as he raced faster than was legal down the highway—this was just what he needed. Tatsuha didn't have any destination in mind. He just needed to go somewhere. Anywhere. It didn't matter.

He wanted to hate Ryuichi. The man had given a piss-poor response. No emotion, no regret. There had been nothing behind those cobalt eyes. But Tatsuha couldn't take it personally, no matter how much it hurt. He knew that Ryuichi had his own ways of dealing with things.

Still, out of everything they had gone through together, all of the hours spent together, laughing, sharing, kissing.

He deserved a better reaction than a fucking thank you.

His swears of frustration lost in the wind, Tatsuha made a sharp turn and went back the way he had come.

-x-x-x-x-

The door handle had probably dented the wall with the amount of force that Tatsuha had opened it with—but he didn't really care. The apartment was dark, silent. But Tatsuha already knew where Ryuichi would be.

With purposeful steps, he walked to Ryuichi's bedroom and he entered without knocking. If he hesitated now, he knew he would let Ryuichi win. Just like always. This time though, Tatsuha was determined.

Ryuichi startled at the sound of someone coming into his room, but he didn't look surprised to find that it was Tatsuha standing in the door way. "Ta-chan?" he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

Tatsuha wasn't fooled—he knew that Ryuichi hadn't really been sleeping. He went to the side of the bed and stared down at the other man. "What the hell is your problem?" he demanded. Tatsuha knew that he was letting his anger rule him right now. But if he didn't, he would only be left with disappointment and frustration.

"Problem?"

"Yes, problem." Tatsuha crossed his arms in front of his chest, never looking away from those cobalt eyes. "You're only going to say thank you?"

It took a moment before Ryuichi responded. "Thank you is a very nice thing to say!" This was said in the sweetest voice the man could muster, coupled with a smile to match.

That only fueled on Tatsuha's anger even more. "I just told you how I truly feel for you, and that is all you can say? Have you been told those words so many times that they have no meaning to you anymore? Dammit Ryuichi, I meant what I said. I. Love. You."

Ryuichi's smile faltered. "How do I know what you say is the truth?" His eyes were accusatory. "Do you know how many people have thrown themselves at me? All of them were just as adamant about how much they love me."

Tatsuha blinked, anger suddenly gone, leaving him feeling empty and weak. He sighed. Seeing those beautiful eyes look so completely sad was not something he enjoyed. "How can I convince you otherwise?"

Hands grabbed his arms and Tatsuha allowed himself to be pulled down onto the bed. Ryuichi rested his head against Tatsuha's shoulder as he clung on tightly. "Just wait," Ryuichi whispered softly.

Sighing once more, Tatsuha wrapped his arms around the singer and enjoyed the warmth. Ryuichi underestimated him. Tatsuha had been waiting for him ever since he was still a teenager. It felt like all he ever did was wait around for Ryuichi.

He pulled Ryuichi even closer. "Waiting is something I'm good at."

-x-x-x-x-

A/N: Thank you for reading! I haven't written anything for a fandom in so long. I've been focusing on my own projects for a while now, so it was incredibly fun to come back and write for two characters that I adore. I hope everyone enjoyed it!

Thanks again.

LuV


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